Instant Robs You of 3 Key Attributes for Success

We live in a culture of instant.  Instagram, instant noodles, instant response, instant meals, and the list goes on.  We have forgotten what it feels like to wait. 

What drives the need for instant?  Are we so time poor that we need to milk every second of the day?  Do we truly achieve more if everything and everyone arounds us produces instant response and instant success?

I believe that there is a limit to what we can gain from instant.  Instant fame or success is a myth.  You might be the lucky winner of the lottery and therefore achieve instant financial millionaire status.  However, based on past winners of the lottery, studies have shown that they are more likely to be declared bankrupt within 3 to 5 years than the average American and it has also been shown that they are not necessarily happier or healthier.  Sadly, winning the lottery has made their lives worse instead of improving it.  One of the many reasons is that unless you have learned the discipline of managing money, you are not going to instantly have the skills to manage money.  Discipline and skills are only developed over time.  Discipline does not come instantly.

We want instant gratification, a habit that tries to short cut the short-term pain and immediately land at success or pleasure.  In another words, it is the pleasure principle that we aim to achieve.  This short cut mindset rarely produces long term gains or rewards.

What is the problem with instant?

The problem lies in what instant steals from you .  Instant steals from you the 3 key characteristic that are required for long term success.

The 3 key attributes are:

1.  Maturity

2.  Discipline

3.  Competencies or skills

Let’s explore each of them.

Instant Robs You of Maturity

You will lose out one of the most important characteristics that is valued and that is maturity.   Aging and Maturity is not the same thing.  We all age over time but not everyone matures with time.  Maturity is developed over time along with the wisdom to know how to manage and respond to challenging situations and people.  We are like fine wine.  Wine takes time to mature to develop a smooth, complex flavour profile, that enhances the drinking experience.  Time and the right cellaring conditions are required for that to take place.

We are very much like that.  We need time and the right conditions to mature with grace.  You need the function of time to help you smoothen the edges of your character and situations and experiences increases your wisdom to manage the complexities of life.  It is developed when we face various situations both good and challenging and when we learn how to manage or respond to each one.  Instant gratification robs you from that.

 The choices and decisions that you make today will have an impact on your tomorrow.

Some examples of maturity that you will miss out on are:

1. Maturity leads a person to be committed.  Commitment is a long-term attribute.  If someone can be committed, you know that the person is able to see through a project or work till the end regardless of the short-term challenges or pain.  That is the attribute that we want from people around us whether in the workplace or in families and friends.

2.  Maturity enables a person to make decisions, wisely.  Decisions that are based on their character and not short-term feelings or emotions.  Instant culture would dictate that we want to do something, and we want to do it now, which is primarily based on how we feel.  However, maturity will enable a person to decide not based on how they are feeling now but what they are willing to forgo in order to enjoy the benefits later.  For example, exercise, not many people enjoy the short-term pain and struggles of exercising, but they do it because they know that there is a benefit down the road.  You are not going to see those muscles appear after just one workout, but it will certain appear after consistent and constant exercise over a period of time.

3.  Maturity leads to reliability and dependability.  A matured person is one where people can rely on.  A person that is dependability.  Reliability and dependability are attributes that are developed over time.  No one becomes dependable in an instant.    It is over a period of time and through many different situations that we would consider someone to be reliable or dependable.

Why can’t maturity take place in an instant?

Learning takes place over a period of time.  Learning is not just about knowledge accumulation, but it is about how we process knowledge and then apply it.  Not just apply it but to be able to apply in a practical and responsible manner.  This requires discipline.

Instant robs you of the power of Discipline.

Discipline is like a muscle.  It takes time and resistance to develop.  Take exercise as an example.  You are not going to develop any muscles if there is no resistance and repetition.  Resistance comes in the form of challenges and going through the challenges and learning and adapting accordingly.  Repetition comes in the form of time and just facing different challenges along the way. 

Discipline helps you to stay the course, to persevere, to do what needs to take place, to enable you to grow.  Discipline in athletes is a great example.  An athlete does not just rely on their natural talent, but it is the discipline of hard work, the practice hours, the dedicated and sole focus on the prize of the finish line that makes one successful.  Without discipline, there is no long term, sustainable success.

Instant robs you of discipline because it stops you short from the long term and sustainable success.  The discipline muscle never gets to be developed because you stop when the resistance is hard or when the repetition becomes tiresome.

The example of winners of lottery tickets, instant millionaires, the lack of discipline with managing money causes them to be not just more miserable but to have a higher chance of declaring bankruptcy, is a result of both lack of discipline but also a lack of competencies to manage instant wealth.

Instant robs you of competencies and skills.

Skills or competencies can only be developed over time and through practice.  No one learns something instantly and becomes and expert.  Skills take time to learn and to develop.  Recently, I decided to learn how to solve the Rubik’s cube.  Yes, it can be solved.  I took almost 3 hours to learn the basic algorithm by watching YouTube.  Even after that 3 hours of learning, I had to spend even more time to practice or to put the algorithm into play.  It was not just the learning of the algorithm that mattered, but it was the hours after that to build up the skills necessary to solve the Rubik’s cube.

There is no way, anyone can master the skill of solving the Rubik’s cube instantly because it is fact that time and effort are required to develop competencies and skills.

Do not let instant rob you of further developing your competencies and skills.  Your worth in the workplace is largely dependent on your competencies and skills.  It is your competencies and skills, along with discipline and maturity that will not only enable you to be successful but to keep you successful.

Why are we short-changing ourselves with instant?

There are many reasons why we short-change ourselves with instant.  We have grown up in a world where everything we want is given to us instantly.  In fact, served to us as fast food, faster processors in computers or phones, all measured with just fast is the response time.  However, we are not like technology.  We are the consumers of technology and how we use technology should be the dictating factor of what is impactful and not the other way around.

There is a reason why babies take 9 months to gestate.   There is reason why older people are wiser.  There is a reason why true success and wealth comes from long term effort and not winning the lottery.

We want it now.  The expectation that whatever we want, we want it now and we get it, now.  When did this start?  How did we get to this point?  Everything seems out of control because we no longer have the right expectations and our mindsets have been altered and not in a good way. 

Take cooking as an example.  Sure we have instant noodles.  Yes its quick in 3 minutes and you have something eat.  Now think about the nutritional aspect of instant noodles.  Does it have any?  What would the impact be if you had instant noodles every day?  I have no doubt that your body will not be too happy with what you are consuming.  At some point, your body will let you know that the years of abuse is enough.

How to move to a matured mindset?

In order for us to change or to practice delayed gratification, we need to exercise discipline.  The discipline of saying NO and NOT NOW.  Those two concepts are key to stopping yourself from the desire to give up or to choose the perceived pleasure that you can gain now.  Tell yourself to wait by saying NOT NOW or NO to the instant gratification.  You will need to exercise the discipline muscles.  And like all muscles, you can develop it.  It can get stronger over time as you use it.  Imagine the discipline muscles as your biceps and triceps.  You will need to develop both and to do that is to use NO and NOT Now.  NO is like the way you train your biceps.  Say NO to what is perceived as the easy way, the short cuts, the instant gratification.  NOT NOW is the way you would train your triceps.  NOT NOW when you feel like giving up, when it feels hard and its painful.  NOT NOW says don’t give up.

Once you have started to train the discipline muscles, you can then work hand in hand with the following other steps:

  • Slow down:  Slow down the pace of your life.  Don’t fall in the rat race trap. 
  • Know the purpose:  Know the why to what you are doing.  So often we lose sight of what is our reasons are which leads us down a rabbit hole of doing too much and eventually burning out.
  • Keep it simple:  keep what is important, important.  Simplify your life and when you are focused you are able to accomplish a lot more than you thought possible.

Ask yourself:

  • Have I been taking the instant route?
  • What areas have I been stealing from maturity or discipline or skills?
  • What areas do I need to develop maturity, discipline and skills in?

Do not allow instant to steal from you the 3 key attributes of maturity, discipline and competencies that are required for long term success. “No” and “Not Now” are 2 key mindsets to have in order for you to go through the challenging times. Learn to slow down, be clear on your purpose and keep it simple as you journey on this road of maturity, discipline and skills.

Thank you for taking the time to read my article.  I hope that you have learned at least one thing that you are able to apply into your everyday life.  As always, please subscribe, follow and share this blog with your friends.  Take care and step into the everyday with purpose. 

You will find what you are looking for.

Have you ever suddenly noticed something that is right in front of you when you start looking for it?  You could have walked past it or drove past it multiple times a day and yet not see it until someone mentions it or when you go out looking for it?

Just like if I said, red cars, you are going to see more red cars on the roads than before.  Yes, red cars will magically appear on the road.  That is of course not true.  Our minds will naturally refocus or reframe to find what we are looking for. 

What are some of the things that we will find when we go looking for it?

If you are looking for trouble, you will find trouble.  If you are looking for problems, you will find problems.  If you are looking for the negatives, you will find the negatives.  If you look for something positive, you will find the positives.  If you are looking for beauty, you will find beauty.

All this is great if we are looking for the good, the positives, the beauty around us, the blessings and thanksgiving but it is not good if we are constantly on the lookout for the negatives, the “something bad will happen”, the faults in others and so on.  It is unfortunate that the news that we hear, watch, or read are mostly negatives.  I guess the good news are not newsworthy.  After all, where is the drama if it is all good.

Have you also ever wondered how two people who could go through the same situation and yet come out of it with vastly different perspectives?  One could end up being bitter and negative while the other feels grateful and thankful for the experience.  The situation could be the same, but what they are looking for, is vastly different.  We will find what we are looking for.  Therefore, the “type” of frame that you put on will determine how you perceive the direction of your life. Your focus determines your life.

Let us challenge and reframe from negatives to positives.

I would like to challenge you to start reframing what you look out for and to be surprise with what you will find.  Surprises are good and even necessary, even if you do not like surprises.  You will need surprises occasionally.

To start reframing, from a negative or “problems-are-just-around-the-corner” to “there-is-always-a-silver-lining” mindset, requires 3 changes that need to occur:

1.  Recognise and acknowledge your current frames.

2.  Put on the new frames.

3.  Look intently through the new frames.

Recognise and acknowledge your current frames.

In order to start any change process, the first step is always to recognise and acknowledge what is your current frame.  To find out, think of any specific situation and ask yourself:

  • How would you describe the situation and the outcome? 
  • Is the outcome one that is of a negative or positive perspective? 
  • What is your narrative?
  • Does the narrative feel and sound positive or negative?

For example, if you look back at 2020, yes, the year where the global pandemic was on all of us, what is your narrative?  It is all doom and gloom or is it one of grateful thanksgiving.

For many, we would describe the year as simply horrible, lockdowns, no toilet paper, lost of job and the list goes on.  For others, it was getting into an opportunity that would otherwise not have happened, growing closer as a family, valuing the simple things of life, experiencing the kindness of people and that list goes on too.

For me?  My narrative is that it was a year where I challenged a limiting belief of not being good enough and worked on launching a podcast.  In fact, I have launched not just one podcast but two podcasts, “Lisalamcoach” and “Give Receive Improve”.  I have also learned several new skills such as podcasting, writing, recording, and editing and not forgetting improving some other skills or interest such as painting, cooking, and baking.  The reason?  I was looking for new learnings, experiences, and growth.  I was looking at making the best of the situation.  I was looking for the hidden gems.  And yes, I found all the things that I was looking for.

I am sure that you will discover that you have many different frames or mindsets that will either hold you back or move your forward.  I would like to suggest that you start with one frame at a time.  Pick the frame that you want to change first.

Put on the New Frame.

Once you have identified your current frame, the next step is to create a new frame.  The new frame that you will replace your previous one with. 

1.  Start by asking yourself:

  • What is the new frame that I want to have in place? 
  • What is the narrative of this new frame?
  • What are the triggers to the previous frame that will trigger the replacement of the old with this new frame?

2.  Write it down and make it visible.  Our mind takes time to shift or to reframe.  Our thought patterns need to be rewired or new paths needs to be created for our mind to view situations through a new frame.  We need constant reminders and applications.  We need to consistently practice the new frames.

3.  Replace the old narrative with the new narrative.  For example, if your previous frame was “something-bad-is-going-to-happen” and because of this frame, you find it impossible to be happy or to be grateful or to celebrate, then replace that with a frame that looks for “I am thankful for an amazing day and will celebrate it with my friends or family. I am not going to waste any precious moments.” You will probably need to do this several times a day, countless times in a week and over the course of months. Change will take place but it takes time.

Look Intentionally through the new Frame.

Intentionally think about what you are thinking about.  In every situation, catch yourself.  Think about what you are thinking about.  Are you reframing or still looking at a situation through your old frames?  Once you catch yourself, do not be hard on yourself, just reframe it to the new desired frame.

It is much easier for our minds to go back to the default mode.  The neuropathways in our brains will take us down the path that is of least resistance.  Therefore, thoughts that have been ingrained for a long time, will naturally be the easiest to take as it has been established.  The brain is a very energy efficient organ and like all efficient organ, it does not want to do any more work than what is required.  That is how habits work. It works because habits are efficient processes or it has been automated in the mind.  No energy is required to build new neuropathways unlike a new thought or a new habit that you are creating.

You will therefore need to put in the work to change the old with the new frame.  You will have to put the new frame on.  That is right, it is not good enough to have just written it down or put-up signs or post-its to remind you of it, you will need to replace your thoughts with the new thoughts and keep on doing it.  It is not a one time act, it is a long term process but it does get easier over time.  I would like to encourage you to persevere and assure you that the benefit is worth the effort.

Some simple reframe examples:

  • Worry:  Reframe to “There is no point to worry about things that have not happened or things that I have no control over.  I am going to focus on the situation now and what I can do now.  I am going to enjoy the moment, be thankful for what I do have.”
  • Problems:  Reframe to “There are always problems but there are always solutions available as well.  Therefore, I will focus on looking for the solutions and be innovate and creative in problem solving.”
  • “Not good enough”:  Reframe to “I am a learner.  I may need to learn this new skill, but I can because I am a learner.  When I put my mind to it, I can learn and with practice I can be good at it.”

For me, I have to constantly reframe whenever a thought of “I am not creative” pops into my mind.  This usually happens when I am trying to paint something new, and I cannot seem to get it right.  I will then reframe to “I am creative and have done some great paintings and I am going to learn how to do this.  I am not going to stop learning and practicing because that I how I get better.”

When you can frame your mind to look for the treasures of the everyday, you will find the treasures of the everyday.  That is where the practice of a grateful journal comes into play.  The reason journaling is powerful is that it helps you to reframe to look for things to be grateful for.  When you start to look for grateful things, you will be thankful and appreciative of what you have as much as what you do not have.

Let me summarise.  In order to find what we are looking for, we need to:

1.  Recognise and acknowledge your current frames.  What is your current frame? 

2.  Put on the new frames.  What is the new frame to replace the old frame?

3.  Look intently through the new frames.  Put on the new frame daily.

Thank you for the taking the time to read this article. I hope that you have learned at least one new thing that you are able to apply into your everyday life. As always, subscribe, like and share this with you friends. Take care and step into the everyday with purpose.

4 ways to Single Task to Maximise Productivity

In this article, you will learn how to become a single tasker and enjoy the benefits of single tasking,  through laser focused attention and time, quality of output and the satisfaction of complete one task well.

In today’s busy world, everyone is trying to do more, to achieve more and to produce more, all these things with the limited time that we have.  One of the solutions to this problem is the belief that multi-tasking is the answer.  If we are able to perform multiple tasks at one time, then we must be able to accomplish more.  However, is that true?

The truth is that multitasking is a myth. 

Yes, that’s right, it is a myth and a lie that we have been led to believe.  Studies after studies have indicated that we are not able to multitask.  In Harvard Business Review article “You can’t multitask, So stop trying.” By Paul Atchely, Dec 21, 2010, he states that “multitaskers do less and miss information.  It takes time (an average of 15 minutes) to re-orient to a primary task after a distraction such as an email.  Efficiency can drop by as much as 40%.  Long-term memory suffers and creativity – a skill associated with keeping in mind multiple, less common, associations is reduced.  In fact, multi-tasking is really task switching in our brains.  Our brains choose which information to process.” 

Just to add salt to the wound, Jim Kwik in his book Limitless, states that “research repeatedly shows that people who multitask are considerably less productive than those who focus on one task at a time.”  “In fact, multitasking is a grossly inefficient way to get anything done.”

I think that it goes beyond just the productivity or efficiency measurements.  The real enemy behind this myth is that we want to believe that we are more capable and are able to achieve more which ties to our need to be valuable. If we are able to perform multiple task at the same time, then we must be valuable.  Have you ever wondered why when you ask a person who multitask, how they feel about their work, the answer is rarely of one that would indicate a sense of pride in their accomplishments?  I think that deep down they know that their output could be much better if only they were able to give it 100% attention, energy and focus.

If this is so, why then do we still believe that multitasking is a great skill to possess?  Are you in that trap?  If you are, how can you break free from it?

What is single tasking then?

Single tasking is to focus on a single task one at a time.  Single type of work with a clear goal attached to it and with dedicated time set aside to complete it.  Single type of work or “batching” of similar type of work, helps to give you clarity and focus. When you are focusing on completing one task at a time, you are giving that task 100% attention and concentration that it requires, guided by a clear sense of that you want to accomplish and when you have completed it, a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction.  In fact, it is a great feeling to have when you know that you have completed one piece of work that you have set out to do.  You are then able to focus on the next piece of work and the next.

Why we should be single tasking instead?

Now that we know that multitasking is a myth, let’s switch to become a single tasking person. Some of the benefits are the following:

  1. Results:  You are able to achieve a higher level of outcome because you are able to focus and allocate the necessary time and attention to the creation and completion of a specific task or a piece of work.  Work that especially requires great attention to details, decision making as well as problem solving requires our 100% concentration and attention.  Making an error in any of those areas could have potentially damaging consequences. 
  2. Productive:  You are able to achieve more by focusing on completing one task at a time.  As a result you will be more productive.  Imagine a situation where you are trying to juggle 5 items at the same time.  The amount of effort that it would take for your mind to not just remember what they are but to give each one the attention that it requires is almost impossible.  You will either complete one of the tasks well but seldom are you able to complete all of them well at the same time.
  3. Stress:  Reduce your stress level when you are not trying to complete multiple task at the same time.  Your ability to produce good outcomes is proportional to the amount of time and attention that you are able to give it.  The more stress you feel, the less you are allowing your creativity and problem-solving skills to flourish.
  4. Satisfaction:  You will feel a great sense of satisfaction with every task that you are able to complete, knowing that you have completed it well.  You know that you have given each task the necessary focus, concentration, effort, and time.

How to Single Task for optimum productivity?

If you are a person who is single tasking, then it is time to rejoice.  You have been on the path of productivity and efficiency all along.  If you are person who wants to be a multi-tasker, then I would suggest that you stop that ambition and change to be a better single task-oriented person.

There are 4 key categories that you can put into practice to get you going:

  • Eliminate distractions.  Distraction is the number enemy of focus.  The whole idea behind performing a single task at a time is so that we are able to focus on that task at hand.  Distraction causes us to lose that focus.  Research shows that when you are distracted, you will need at least 15 minutes to refocus back to the task that you were performing before the distraction.  Some tips to help you eliminate distractions:
    • Put your phone on silent.
    • Turn off all notifications, whether on your phone, or on the computer.
    • Declutter your workspace.  The less clutter our eyes sees, the less distracted our eyes will be. This will help you to focus and to concentrate on the task at hand.
    • Set up your workspace for work.  Your workspace or area should be designed and set up for optimum work.  As an example, it is hard to focus if your chair is not the right height or is not comfortable.
    • Use the right tools for the job.  It is sometimes easy to overlook the simple things.  For example, if you need to write, ensure that you have pens or pencils and paper at hand.  
  • Allocate the necessary time.  Schedule the required time for each task that you want to do.  No matter how small you might think the task is, you must schedule it in your calendar as it will take time to complete.  You do not want to be faced with time stealers during the day.  The consequence is that by the end of the day, you may be left wondering what happened to the time even though you were single tasking.  There are a few different methods or techniques that you might want to follow:
    • Parkinson’s Law which basically states that the work expands to fill the time allotted.  For example, if you have allocated 2 hours to complete a task, you will complete that task in 2 hours.  If you now only allocate 30 minutes to complete that task, you will complete that task in the time that was allocated.  Therefore, it is important to note that more time does not necessarily mean better completion of work.  It could just mean that you have given yourself too much buffer time.  This buffer time in turn will cause you to not be able to estimate how many task you are able to complete in a day or a time period.  Be a good judge of how much time you would need with each task.  This requires practice and getting to know your work speed and style.  Over time and with observation, you will be able to estimate the time better.
    • Pomodoro technique.  This is a time management method that was developed by Francesco Cirillo which essentially breaks down work into intervals or blocks of time.  The intervals are usually in 25 minutes with 5 minutes break in between the “work” intervals. After 3 interval cycles, you can then have a longer break interval.
  • Align your task with your goals.  There is not shortages of task to be done.  However, not all tasks are necessary, especially when they do not align with your goals.  We all need to be clear on what we are trying to achieve, and it is a must to have clear goals before you begin or accept any task.  If not, it would not matter if you are a single tasking individual, you will be left wondering why you did not accomplish what you had set out to do.  You will be left without a sense of satisfaction as you were not able to achieve your goals.
  • Do not compare.  One of the hidden enemies that aims to steal our focus is comparison.  You compare yourself with someone who might be perceived as a multi-tasker or is able to get a lot of work done in a short amount of time.  That is probably just their style and pace of work.  It is not yours.  You have to be comfortable with your work style and make any necessary adjustments from that point of view and not from someone else’s.  Comparison will rob you out of your satisfaction.

I will also add that there is a place for “multi-tasking” and that is with task that do not require attention to detail.  For example, I am sure that we can brush our teeth and do some squats at the same time.  We can read a book and listen to music at the same time.  Activities that are habitual or have been automatic, does not require our brains to do much processing.  So yes, you can still be a multitasker in those areas.  I would suggest that you use your wisdom to determine appropriately.  What is for certain is, task that requires thought and decision-making outcomes should be given the focus and time to complete.

In summary:

  • Multitasking is a myth.  Our brains do not multitask, they are task switching.
  • Single tasking is required for work that requires attention to details, problem solving, decision making and quality of the output.
  • Single tasking leads to better outcomes and higher levels of productivity.
  • Result of your work is higher in quality and you will get a sense of satisfaction as you complete each task that are aligned to your goals.

Thank you for taking the time to read this article. I hope that you have learned at least one thing that you are able to apply into your everyday life.  As always, please subscribe, follow and share this with your friends.  Take care and step into the everyday with purpose. 

You can also listen to the podcast below:

4 Elements to Achieving Restoration and Not just Rest

Check out on any podcast platform: lisalamcoach

Is there a difference between rest and restoration?  According to the dictionary, rest is defined as a period of cessation of activity while restoration is defined as returning something to its earlier good condition or renewal.

We feel and know the difference between rest and restoration. We feel tired but do not know why or can’t put our finger on it.  I think that all of us want rest and restoration.  Sadly, we do not always know how to restore, or which part of our well-being needs restoration.  I would like to briefly start the discussion going on the restoration that we should all be aware off and it is not just physical rest but also mental, emotional and spiritual areas of our wellbeing.  Our mental, emotional or creative and spiritual wellbeing are seldom mentioned and certainly hardly mentioned wholistically.  To recognise just one part of our overall being, is to neglect the impact of the other areas which leads to an imbalance in our overall wellbeing. 

What is rest?  We rest when we sit down, take a breath and relax.  The most common form of rest is sleep.  Sleep allows our body to rest and to renew physical strength.  I have no doubt that we have heard all the benefits of sleep and yet, a good majority of the population do not get enough sleep.  However, the difference between rest and restoration is most evident in the fact that even when you have slept well, taken breathers and ceased from activities, you still feel “tired” and not restored?  I am sure that I am not the only one who has ever felt that way.

What’s the problem?  I believe that the heart of the issue lies in the fact that we, as humans, are not only physical being, but are also made up of the mind, emotions and spiritual being just housed in a physical body.  Craig Groeschel in his leadership podcast talked about these 4 areas as energy buckets.  Each area needs to be managed as part of energy management.  Therefore, not only do we need physical rest, we need to also care for the other parts that makes up the overall wellbeing.  The need is therefore not just for physical rest but also for the restoration of our overall well-being.

Each of those parts whether physical, mental, emotional /creative, and spiritual needs to be in balance and to be renewed and in fact, restored differently.  For example, for physical rest, we need to just stop, sit or sleep.  Our physical bodies can recover from the down time.  However, too much of inactivity, leads to an imbalance just as much as over-exercising (yes it does happen a problem that I could never relate to fortunately). 

For the other areas of our well-being such as our mind or creative or emotion well-being, physical rest alone is not enough.  I am sure that you have experienced the feeling of just simply being tired even though you had a good night sleep.  Something is off, you mind feels sluggish or you are just not feeling energised. 

This all points to the fact that each area requires different activities to restore.  Let’s start to take the first step at looking at some areas and ideas that we could use to move from rest to restoration for our minds, emotions and spiritual.

So let’s break it down.

Mind

I have no doubt that for most of us, mental fatigue is a real thing.  We are simply mentally tired especially at the end of the day because we have used so much of our mind to problem solve, analyse, create, innovate and the list goes on.  Our brains are literally fried from all the day’s processing that it has to do.  Once the work stops, it does not mean that our minds or brains goes to rest.  In fact our minds are constantly working, not stopping and the truth is we don’t want it to stop either if you know what I mean.

Ask yourself:

  • What activities drains your mind or mental energy?
  • What activities energises and renews your mind or mental energy?

For your mind to achieve rest and restoration, it isn’t just with sleep, but it is in knowing what drains and energises you.   What sort of activities drains your mind?  The most common and probably the worst culprit is negative thoughts or thinking.  Negative thoughts produce toxic side effects such as stress, worry, anxieties and it is literally toxic on the brain itself.  In her book, Switch on Your Brain by Dr. Caroline Leaf, when a negative thought occurs and is continuously active, brain scans literally shows the damage that it does to the physical brain.  The good news is that positive thoughts is able to restore or reverse the damage that negative thoughts created.

There are other draining activities such as doing certain type of work that you know drains you not just mentally but emotionally.  One of the activities that simple drains me is attending meeting.  Unfortunately, I have had to attend one meeting too many and there were days where I would have back-to-back meetings.  After which by the end of the day, all I wanted to do was nothing, literally nothing.  My body was not tired, but my mind and emotions were completed drained.  It is therefore important to know what are the “energy vampires” for you.

Unfortunately, knowing your energy vampires is not good enough.  More often than not, our energy vampires won’t just disappear or go away as there are some activities at work that we just can’t avoid.  It is therefore important to know what are your “energy powerbank”.   What “energy powerbank” activities can you do to restore or recharge you?  It could be as simple of having 15mins of quiet meditation or listening to some music or just walking around the park.  It does not have to be a time-consuming activity, just something that will give a boost to keep you going till you have the opportunity to properly restore.

What sort of activities restores or renews your mind? 

Different people will require different types of activities and even similar activities maybe draining for some while energising for others.  For example, reading, some people find it is a great way to renew the mind while some might find it to be a very draining activity.  If we take reading as an example, maybe reading a non-fiction book is draining but reading a fiction book could have the opposite effect. 

BTW, reading is one of the best ways to restore the mind and creative/emotions as it allows your imagination to take hold.  Imagination uses a different part of your brains and it allows one part of rest of sort while another part activates.  Some will find restoration in doing cross word puzzle or the Rubik cube or playing computer games. 

The point is that we need to know what helps to restore our mental state.  In fact, one of the worse things that we can do is to have negative thoughts.  In Dr Caroline Leaf’s book, Switch on Your Brain, based on neuropathway research and brain scans, when a negative thought is thought of, the neuropathway is developed.  If it is a negative thought, it will produce toxic outcomes such as stress and we all know the dangers of bad stress.  Positive thoughts on the other hand is able to restore the damage of the negative thoughts.

Ask yourself:

  • What are my energy vampires?
  • What negative or wrong thought pattern have I been entertaining?
  • What can I replace the wrong, negative, toxic thought with a life-giving positive thought?
  • What are my energy powerbank and how can I consciously put in place?

Emotional or Creative.

The other part of our being is the emotional and creative part.  We are all creative in our own way and process emotions or feelings differently.  Some who are more in tuned with their emotions will require the “talking” it out and over to help process what they are feelings.  Some require peace and quiet or solitude to do the same.  For some, it might to be paint, play the piano or musical instruments, for others it could be to cook, to do some gardening and the list goes on.  Each one of those activities aims to restore the emotional or creative part of us.  Some of these activities you will notice does not involve physical ceasing of activities, but it is the restoration or renewing of the different parts of our well-being.

For example, have you noticed how some people may seem physically tired but when they are in the kitchen cooking or baking, they are alive and full of energy?  These people find cooking as an energy powerbank.  It will restore the creative or emotional aspect of their being.

Ask yourself:

  • What is the restorative activity that you need to do to renew your emotional or creative part?
  • If you have never realised this before, what do you naturally do today that you find emotional or creative renewal?
  • If you don’t have any, what could you start to do?

Spiritual

In Psychologytoday.com, spirituality means different things to different people.  For some , it’s primarily about a belief in God and active participation in organised religion.  For others, it’s about non-religious experiences that help them get in touch with their spiritual selves through quiet reflection, time in nature, private prayer or meditation.

I have heard it said, we are all spiritual being living in a physical body.  Regardless of what you believe in, I think that there is no doubt that it is the case.  The rise of meditation and mindfulness all imply that there is another aspect of being humans that is different from an animal.

There is a longing in each of us to believe in something, usually something greater than ourselves.  Having faith in someone or something is something that we are all wired to have and longed for.  To deny or neglect this, leads to an imbalance where the need to fill that void results in the never-ending quest to find it.  Sadly, some try to find and fill that void through addictive avenues.

For me, I find my spiritual restoration in my faith as a Christian.  Resting on God’s promises and renewing my spirit by spending time meditating, worshiping and studying His Word.

Ask yourself:

  • What is your avenue for spiritual recharge or restoration?
  • What drains your spiritual reservoir?

Physical

Last but not least, your physical aspect.  The body requires 2 key things, nourishment and movement.  We are what we eat I have heard it said.  To a certain extent I think that it is true.  If you are abusing your body with unhealthy junk food, I have no doubt that your physical body will have something to say about it. 

Movement.  We are made to move.  Exercise is an important aspect of that.  It does not matter what sort of exercise you do, as long as it is one that you enjoy and able to maintain over a long period of time.  For example, swimming might be good for you but if you don’t enjoy or feel anxious doing it, then don’t do it as you are not going to enjoy it and therefore you will not be consistent at it.  Just like any other energy vampire, any exercise that you do not enjoy is not going to help you to restore.

Rest and sleep.  I think that we all know that we need to rest and have at least 7-8 hours of sleep-in order for our bodies to recover, build muscles, repair and so on.  For most people, this can be a struggle as well. 

Is there a way to restore as many of these different areas of our being in the most time efficient manner?  Afterall, I don’t have 8 hours to restore each of these 4 aspects.  I think that it is possible, and it is also dependent on what you enjoy doing and what those activities are.

Let me give you an example of what I do.

I love walking, hiking and golf and they are my primary vehicle for exercise.  I know that these exercises along with the occasional strength training is what my physical body needs, and I schedule the time to do it.  Yes, you cannot escape from scheduling time to do it.

During that time, while I am exercising, I have my headphones on and I am either listening to a podcast or music which will restore my mind and my spirit depending on what I am listening to.  During this walk, I will also take note of all the natural beauty that is in front of me.  The trees, flowers, birds, the amazing colours of the sky or the sea and the list goes on, all of which restores my creative or emotional aspects.  For me, this simple exercise of 30mins to 2 hours depending on the activity can restore all the 4 parts of my being.

For you, you might enjoy cooking.  Use the time that you are cooking and include maybe an activity that is able to help you restore your mind or spiritual areas.   If you are cleaning your house, put on some music or listen to a book or podcast.  The everyday task that you might not enjoy, add to it something that you enjoy such as singing.  Find ways to add to what you are already doing.  I would suggest that as the starting point rather than creating a whole set of new activities or routines.

Think about:

  • What am I doing today that I could add one or two more elements to restore more of my being?

It is not difficult to do if you want to do it.  No matter what it might be for you, it is for your benefit that you know what you need to do to restore all 4 aspects of your being.  You will certainly know when any one of them is out of whack.  If you don’t, I am sure that those around you will notice.

Give it go and discover for yourself what works for you.  You may not see the difference immediately, but I have no doubt, when you look back over a period of time, you will certainly see the impact of it.  The impact is noticeable both in terms of negative or positive depending on whether you did anything to address the gap.

Please subscribe, comment and share with your friends.  Let’s see how we can move from rest to restoration together.

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3 Boundaries to remove to achieve productive from busy

Busy is the new fashion trend for everyone.  Just ask anyone, “how are you?” or “How was your day?” and the standard reply is “Busy” and if “busy” is not good enough, its “very busy”.  If you were to ask, how productive have you been? There would usually be a short moment of silence and then a frown and then after a pause, the reply would either be “just busy” or “not very productive sadly”.  That’s right, busy is the buzz word for everyone.  Busy is not just a buzz word, it has become an identity for some.    Sadly, some people wear “Busy” as an honour badge.

Let’s start this journey by addressing 3 boundaries that we need to overcome.  The first two boundaries have to do with who and how we define ourselves and the value that we place on our output and the third is to help get the process going by providing you with reminders on how to get to the road of productivity.

Why are people busy?

The main reason is that there is just so much more things to do, more accurately the variety of things that needs our attention have exponentially increased.  If we were to compare with what work looks like today vs. what work looked like 50 years ago, the differences are vast.  Technology has played a big part in that. 

Today, technology has literally caused the “always on” generation.  People are always connected, and work is taking place somewhere in the world at any point of time, with time differences and distances no longer barriers.  In fact, depending on what work you are doing, you could be working at night because your customer is at work in another country.  As a result, the only way that you can keep your head above the water is to work longer and harder.  You feel the pull to do more and fill whatever time slot you have with more things to do.  You feel the pressure to keep up and keep going and ultimately not be left behind. 

Sadly, this has left many with just an empty feeling of busy, not knowing what they are achieving and certainly very little satisfaction with their work.  How can we change this?  Can we change this?  How do we break through the culture of busy and start to create a productive impact of your own?

The answers to the questions above are yes, we can change the situation and you are in control to change the narrative of your “busy” to productive and impactful.  Ultimately what we are all aiming for is to be producers of meaningful work that has a positive impact. 

The 3 boundaries that we need to overcome, and address are:

  1. Self:  Who do you identify yourself as?
  2. Security:  What is your identity or sense of security tied to?
  3. Strategy: What steps do you need to take to say no to the busy and yes to the productive?   

Let’s break it down and get to the heart of the issue.

Self

Yes, that’s right.  We have to start by knowing ourselves first.  More specifically, your identity or how you identify yourself as?  Take this example when you are meeting someone for the first time.  You make the polite introduction, “I am Lisa.”  The next question would usually be “How are you?”  The most common answer is “I am good but busy.”  Often, how we introduce ourselves is how we perceive the situation and our assessment of what we perceive the summary of our day. 

Busy.  That is how you have associated your identity with.  You are not only your name but your title is busy.  The first place to start to change is to change that narrative.  Change how you identify yourself.  If you are not happy with being identified with busy, then you are in control to change that narrative.

Ask yourself:

  • Do you want to change from busy to productive?
  • How do you view or identify yourself?  Think about what you have said in the past.
  • To change, change the narrative.  What other words could you use to describe your day?
  • How else could you describe your work?
  • Have you taken a step back and reflect on what it is you are aiming for?

Essentially, it is easy for us to be busy because it is just about doing stuff in the limited amount of time that we have.  It requires no thought, no alignment or realignment, no intentionality.  You are just doing, and the doing keeps you busy.  In fact some people feel like a chicken running around without its head.

The first step to move out of busy to productive is to acknowledge that you are NOT defined by busy and busy is not a badge of honour to proudly wear.  You are NOT Busy, you are PRODUCTIVE.  You are intentional in how you spend your time and energy.  You are clear on the outcome that you want to achieve.  You are a person that has a clearly defined purpose and a set of priorities that you live by.  You align your activities with your goals with your purpose.

Security

For those who wear the busy badge proudly has unconsciously over time placed their sense of security with the level of busy.  The busier I am, it must mean that the more valuable I am and therefore I have tied my security to the various level of busy.  Therefore, you will feel “better” the more busy you are or you are trying to outdo “busy” against someone else.

The sad and yet brutal truth is that no matter how busy you are, you are not any better than someone who is perceived as less busy.  Afterall, being busy simply means that you are filling up your time or schedule with tasks or activities, not really thinking about the outcome or output.  However, there is no job security in today’s world.  You could be most valuable employee today but next week you might not be.  The LIE that we have been led to believe is that there is security.  Jim Kwik in his book Limitless, defined LIE as Limited Ideas Entertained.  The LIE that surrounds the “the busy” security is that busy gives you value and security.

Once again, it takes very little effort or intentional decision making to be busy.  It does take more upfront thoughts and decision making to be productive.

Security is found in who you are and the skills and experiences that you have gained.  Your true security is knowing who you are.  And it is the who you are that leads to what you do.  What you do should always be to produce meaningful work. 

For example, if you have developed strong sense of who you are and your skills and strengths, you are able to use them in any role.  You are hired not because of your level of busy but based on you, your skills and experiences.   Therefore, as long as you continuously improve your skills and expertises you will find that your sense of security is not tied to your activity level.

You will need courage to break the boundaries of security because you will have to learn to say No and not be afraid of the consequences.  One of the reasons people do not say No, is because they are afraid of the potential consequences. 

Strategy

Now that you have a clear sense of purpose and no long want to tie your sense of security with the busy badge, you will need to figure out what to do.  You need to have a strategy.  You need a plan.

Therefore, the strategy that you use will need to have a goal or an outcome, the action items that you will need to do and the timeline to achieve it.  There are so many reference materials that you can read to learn how to be productive.  One of the best books that I have read is Getting Things Done by David Allen.  He outlines 5 key principles to be productive and they are capture, clarify, organise, reflect, and engage.  This has helped me realised that just having a to-do list is not good enough and tools that you use is only as good as the clarity of your intent or purpose and having a system in place to reflect on what you are doing and to do the task that is required.  There are many more productivity “gurus” in the likes of Thomas Frank where you can learn the how-to be productive using various tools that are available like Notion. 

The important thing to note is that the ultimate strategy is one that suits you and one that you are able to be consistent with.  In fact, it does not matter what tools or applications that you use or which methods or morning routines that you follow. The one that is the best for you is the one that you are able to consistently use and follow.

In addition to the tools, methods and routines, I will suggest two additional parameters that are so often forgotten, and they are:  boundaries and mindset change. 

Boundaries.

In order to get control of your “busy”, you must establish boundaries and priorities.  Boundaries of what to say yes and no to.  Boundaries around your work time and non-negotiables around your schedule.  To establish any boundaries or priorities you need to be clear on the purpose.  Without that clarity, you are not going to be able to establish clear and defined boundaries.  One of the critical components of boundaries is to not just set it up but to communicate and enforce the boundaries.  Other people will not know the boundaries that you have set unless you have communicated it to them and enforced it.  People will want to get whatever it is from you immediately, or to satisfy their priorities.  Enforcing boundaries demonstrates that you respect yourself, the boundaries that you have set and respect for the other person.

How do you do it?

A very common activity that drains our time from productive to busy is reading and replying to emails.  In fact, when we hear that beep or notification and see the little preview of the email pop up on the screen, we are naturally distracted and want to do something with it immediately.  However, by doing so, it not only robs you of your focus as you are now distracted, you are also now forgoing your priorities to respond to someone else’s priorities.  To establish your boundaries around replying to emails, it is about communicating your email response times such as “Thank you for your email.  I respond to my emails twice a day from 9am – 10am and 4pm to 5pm.  If it is urgent, please indicate on the Subject line the Urgent nature and when a response is required.”  This is a simple example of setting a boundary as to when they can expect an email response from you.  Setting and communicating that boundary is step 1.  The next step is to enforce it.  If you break your own boundaries and respond to emails outside of those hours, then you have basically saying to the people around you that you don’t respect your own boundaries and in turn why should they respect your boundaries.

Productive Mindset

If you have heard my previous podcast around Mindset, you will know that I am great proponent of a growth or empowering mindset.  Productivity is an outcome of having a mindset around focusing on the output and not just filling up the time with activities.

Tim Ferris’s quote “Focus on being productive instead of busy.”, implies that there is an intentional decision made to focus, and the goal is to be productive and not simply be busy. 

A productive mindset helps to focus and align your activities with the outcome or output.  Instead of thinking and saying to yourself, I am busy, think about the actions that you are doing and the outcome that you want to achieve.  It is in some ways, reframing your thoughts so that your actions can be aligned.  Change the narrative in your mind.  Change from a busy narrative to one that focuses on the outcome that is meaningful and productive.

For example, it could be as simple as meal preparation for the next 5 days for your family.  Therefore, instead of saying to yourself that “you are busy cooking”, you will now replace that with “I have prepared meals for my family for the next 5 days which means that I don’t have to worry about that for the rest of the week”.  You are now placing the outcome instead of focusing on the activity and how much time it has taken.

Pause and ask yourself:

  1. Are you busy just for the sake of being busy?
  2. How can you relook at your schedule and align it with your priorities?  Is there anything in the schedule that is not aligned and that I should be saying no to?
  3. What task can you redefine to view it through the lens of productive?  Describe its outcome that is aligned to those priorities.

Sometimes it could just be a simple realignment of your activities with your priorities and other times, you might have to make the tough call to stop it all together.  The steps to move from busy to productive starts with you, self, who you define yourself as, then to aligning your sense of security and finally to having a clear strategy to refocus on what is truly meaningful with a clear outcome that you want to achieve by establishing boundaries and changing your mindset.

What you do you think?  How have you been managing your busy? 

Share some of your life hacks to having a productive day.

I appreciate your support and hope that you have learned at least one new thing.  Let’s aim to step into the everyday with purpose.

Please subscribe, comment, like and share with your friends.   We are all in this journey of growth together.