On-Purpose Blog – Page 21 – Lisa Lam : Coach | Trainer

Top 3 things Never to Give Up on

I wrote an article previous on 10 Things to Give up to Move forward. There are only things that we should never give up on. Just like any sporting team or athlete, the never give up attitude is critical to winning or losing. This attitude enables us to overcome adversities, challenges and turns the impossible to possible.

The top 3 areas never to give up on:

Who YOU are. This comprises your principles, character, values and faith. It makes up who you are. In turn that will determine your outcome in how life is lived out. You determine what you believe in, the choices that you make and the actions that you will take. Successful people are those who are very clear on who they are and who they are not. Don’t try to imitate someone else. Don’t try and live out under the expectations of others. You determine the quality and significance of your life.
Dreams and Life Purpose. Life is precious and short. We all know that. Hence don’t go through life without seeing out your dreams and life purposes. Each of us is created for a purpose and it is in your hands how you live it out. It is easy to give up when the going gets tough, but don’t take the easy way out as the result will be of regret.
People that you love. Love is a powerful emotion but also a decision and commitment that requires perseverance, forgiveness, patience and hard work. No one is perfect and everyone makes mistakes. We might perceive some mistakes to be bigger or more unforgivable than some. It is important to separate the person that we love vs. the acts or actions that a person does. To love the person and not necessarily the action is key in never giving up on someone who is difficult to love.

What happens if we are faced with impossible odds or the challenges seem like Goliath? All challenges by definition will seem like Goliath at the start as our mind makes it harder and scarier that it actually is. Challenges seems huge because our minds will perceive the task ahead as impossible and perceive our abilities as weak and feeble. As a result, we see ourselves as grasshoppers and the challenge as giants.

As with all perceptions, we are also able to change our perceptions and view it through different lenses. View it though eyes of faith vs. eyes of fear. To help you do so, try these options:

Ask yourself What-If. What if you overcome the challenge? What do you see beyond the challenge? What if the challenge is not as complex or big as you had first thought? What-if you break it down to smaller parts?
Step by step. Breaking down a problem or challenge, step by step. Smaller bits are easier to chew and overcome than taking the big chunk and try to solve it. Deconstruct the challenge.
Ask for help. Find a friend, mentor, adviser, coach, someone that you can talk to and brainstorm ideas. Someone who is able to help you redefine the challenge and explore options with you. Don’t be afraid to reach for help.
Take accountability of your actions. Don’t blame the situation or other people for the challenges. Take ownership of it and take responsible steps to action on it. Mind your business as they say. You are only in control of your actions and not others.
Always focus on the big picture, your dreams or purpose. Don’t lose sight of what you are trying to accomplish. Having a clear objective of what you are trying to accomplish can drive you forward as well as to give you that extra push when required.

No one ever succeeds in anything if they give up. Never giving up is a driving force to ensure that we push through whatever the challenges, no matter the odds. Success is just around the corner, only if we never give up on the final few steps. Failure or mistakes will be made. Owning up to the mistakes and making the necessary adjustments to start again. Never giving up enables that start to take place. Only you can make that mindset and heart change. Decide today to never give up on yourself, your dreams and the people you love.

Options: Useful or Not?

We all like it when we have plenty of options to choose from. It gives us a sense of comfort. It gives us room to maneuver. Is there ever a situation when too many options is bad for you? What should you do if you have too many options?

I believe that too many options is bad when it

Confuses you
Impacts your level of commitment and dedication
Defocuses you
Inability to prioritise

What happens when you find yourself with too many options?

Each option should be evaluated and given due consideration. There are a few techniques that people use:
- write them down into 2 columns, pros and cons and then discuss it with friends or mentors.
- verbalise it and talk it out with people.
- Create a vision board to see if it aligns with what they visualised their path of success would look like.
Need to decide and commit to the decision. Once you have evaluated the options and its merits, you will need to decide. Once you decide you will need to be 110% committed to the decision. To be fully committed is to let go of the options and focus all your energy to make the decision successful. You can’t be committed if you are second guessing yourself when the going gets tough.
Know that there is NO perfect and smooth sailing option whatever you decide on. Be aware that every path that is taken, there will be challenges and tough situation to deal with. It does not mean that you made the wrong decision. It just that there is always learning and growth involved.

What do you do if you don’t have any options? There are times when it is a good option. When there is no option, you have to commit and give it all in order for you make something out of it. There are also times, it is good to think about options so that you can make the best decision. How do you come up with options?

You can try these techniques.

Create a vision board. It is board or an open canvas where you fill it up with your dreams or what you would like to visualise your life to be like. You can use pictures, photos, words etc. It allows you to see what you would be achieved and accomplished. With that, options and possibilities can be discovered.
Ask yourself the “What If” question. “What If?” I could do something else, I am not afraid to try something new, I could overcome this challenge etc. It will help to open up possibilities that you might not have considered before.
Find a mentor or a coach to help you self-discover what you would like to accomplish next. Explore options in a structured environment gives you clarity and confidence as you uncover options.

Regardless of whether you have options or not, you have a decision to be made. A decision to choose an option or a decision to create more options.

Top 5 ways we sabotage time

We are all time poor and some more than others. If we were to be self-critical, we will have to acknowledge that we play a big part in how we manage the time that we have. We know that there is only 24 hours in a day, no more and no less. There are various tips and methods that people have used to manage time more effectively and productively. The other side of looking at time is to take a look at the part that each of us play in sabotaging time that we have.

The top 5 ways that we sabotage when it comes to time and time management are:

Spending time on the least important or impactful activities. These might be the activities that you enjoy doing to activities that we do to avoid starting or completing an important task. Whether it is based on enjoyment or avoidance, there is a need especially in the workplace to complete the impactful and important first. Spend the appropriate time and energy on those and then if you have time for other activities do them. For example, I worked in a company where I could literally spend the whole 8 hours reading and responding or replying to emails. On average I would have 150 – 200 emails. Would spending all my time on emails be impactful? No, would be the clear answer. I would need to prioritise the importance and impact of the emails and respond accordingly. In 90% of the time, only 10% of the emails are worth your time and energy.
Doing activities that makes you feel important vs. that makes an impact. It is very easy for any of us to want to do activities that would give us a sense of importance. It is however not necessarily impactful or productive. For example, as a Marketing Director, one of the activities would be to give presentations and demonstrations of the company’s product/solution portfolio. It is an important and can be an impactful part of my responsibilities but as a director, it should not be the majority of my time. Being in front of a crowd, makes me feel important but as a Marketing Director, there is a need to spend more time with strategies and management of the team. What are those activities for you? Being self-aware is the first step to helping you to identify the areas that are sabotaging your time and impact.
“There-but-not-there-attendee.” Have you been or sat in a meeting where you were physically there but mentally you weren’t. You attended just because you were asked to and could not find a way to get out of it. What a time waster that is. You can never get that 1 hour back. What can you do? It is important before you agree to attend any meeting that you are aware of what is the discussion and what your role is. Once you are clear and know your contribution, you will need to be physically and mentally present in order to contribute. If you are not clear or convinced, there is a choice to be made and that choice is to not sabotage your time.
“Help-a-friend-but-the-task-keeps-growing”. We all want to help a friend. However, there are some task or some people, where inevitably the task keeps on growing or you don’t get the full picture and when you do, you are too far in to back out. I am sure that we all those one or two people who have that tendency. When do you help and when do you say no can be tricky as all of us don’t want to be not helpful. Getting a full picture of the help required will be useful along with making it clear where your help starts and stops. For example, I was asked to help to build a “simple” one-pager summary of a strategy and it’s results and was told that all the information is done and it was just a matter of organising the information. However, when I started on it, I realised that not all the information was there or available and it became a must bigger “help request” than just helping to format the slide. Clearly after learning from that experience, I now ask better questions before deciding on whether to help or not.
Being part of a “pity-party”. Who does not enjoy a good gossip or complaining session? We all love to hear just how someone has been treated unfairly and poorly and the more people the pity-party attracts the stronger the negativity. There is only ONE advise to this – STAY AWAY from it. It takes up time and it serves no real benefit. In the beginning you might feel like you are being a friend to listen but if it continues, the choice is yours to make – to continue to waste time or to focus back on what is impactful for you to do with your time.

Time is precious. How we use will determine the outcome and impact we get from it. Don’t play a part in sabotaging yourself. Take stock of where you are spending time and determine to change the time and energy allocation. It will deliver a more productive and impactful outcome for you. It is better to go home feeling that you have been productive vs. busy. What are your time wasters?

10 things to Give up to move forward

“Don’t give up!” Giving up is for losers. We have all been brought up not to give up. Try and try until we get what we want. After all, we can’t achieve anything worthwhile if we give up. However, are there situations where to give up on something is the right course of action? I believe that there are many times and situations where we need to give up something in order to achieve something better.

Here is my list of 10 things to give up.

Expectations of others. Living a life based on expectations of other people is a sure way to not living a fulfill life. You are here to play your unique purpose and role. One that only you can based on your strengths and weaknesses, personality and character. To enjoy a fulfill life requires that you live out your life based on your values, beliefs and dreams.
Hurt and anger. Forgiveness is a critical trait in order to live a positive life. Nothing good ever comes from holding on to hurt or anger. Give it up. Let it go. Anger and bitterness have a great ability to take hold of your heart and affects your interactions, words and actions. Don’t let it.
Judgement. Give up or release judgement of others and of yourself. I believe that all of us know that we are not perfect hence release the need to judge others. Give up judgement and embrace acceptance. See the good and positives in everyone and every situation.
Need to be Right. Give up the need of being right frees you. Does it matter if you are wrong in a certain area? Does it matter if you make a mistake? Does it matter if you fail? Giving up the need to be right, frees you to take risk and learn.
Perfection. Perfection is not required. Perfection is not achievable. It is a myth. Give up your notion that everyone and everything has to be perfect. Let’s face it, there is no perfection in this world. I am not perfect and certainly so are you. If we are not perfect, nothing we do or say will be perfect. Giving up perfection frees you to be creative and innovative. It frees to you explore and experiment.
Negativity. Give up negativity and embrace positivity. Don’t waste the day being negative or spend time with negative people. Embrace the good in people. Look for the hope in the bad situation in order to move forward. Being negative will just pull you into the depths of despair and hopelessness. Choose to be positive. Yes, it is a choice that we can train our minds to think and perceive. Regardless of your natural disposition, a glass half empty or half full person, you can choose how you respond.
Toxic behaviour. Toxic behaviour like gossiping, bad mouthing someone, blaming others, not taking responsibilities for your actions or words, complaining and the list goes on. I am sure that you know what I am referring to. The dark and ugly side that is in all of us. Give it up and be that person that supports, encourages, develops, mentors, coach and lead others. My grandfather thought me that if I have nothing good to say about someone, keep quiet. One of the best advice that I still remember and try to live by.
It is NOT FAIR. Give up the notion of fair and grow up. Give up this myth that the world has to treat you fairly. There is no fair. If we go back to list No. 5, no one is perfect therefore the notion of fair does not exist. Life is not fair, so give up the thought that people have to be fair to you or the situation has to be fair for you. The benchmark of fair is part of your value system. What is fair to you might not be fair to someone else. The scale for fairness only exist in your belief system. Don’t expect everyone to evaluate fairness the same way that you do. Once you give up the notion of fairness, you will accept a given situation for what it is, just the situation and how you respond to it, determines your maturity.
Wastefulness. Give up wastefulness and be grateful. We are surrounded by abundance and wastefulness. Just take food, how much food do we waste everyday? And yet there are millions of people who do not have anything to eat. To be less wasteful is to be grateful and mindful for what we do have and realise that having more does not make you happier or more fulfill. It is also being conscious that there are those who are in greater need and how we are able to turn our wasteful behaviour to help others in need.
Comfort zone. Give up your comfort zone to learn and grow. Fear is the biggest reason why we love our comfort zone. Fear keeps us boxed in. Growth comes when we step out of that box, out of that comfort zone. Challenge yourself to get out of your comfort zone. You will never know what you can achieve if you don’t get out there and try.

Letting go and giving up are not bad. In fact, it is required in order for us to move forward. For us to learn, grow, achieve, create, innovate, to be grateful and to live a fulfilled life. Give up the things that are holding you back. What do you need to give up?

When everything is great, what motivates you?

I love Friday. It signals in my brain that the weekend is here. It just means that one can relax and enjoy the simplicity of friends and family. It is also the time that makes me wonder. Time to wonder the what ifs, and what’s next questions. The question that has been floating is this – What would motivate me to do more or to stretch myself?

It is through challenges that we learn and grow and develop our character and skills. What happens when everything is going well? You are on a high when things are just falling into place, getting great feedback for what you are doing and more importantly you are happy and content.

However, you know that at the back of your mind, you have to continue to push yourself and be better. How do you do that? What motivates you to challenge yourself? It is so much easier to just stay in this perfect comfort zone that you have achieved.

I believe that there are 3 key drivers that enable successful people to continual challenge themselves:

A sense of purpose. A sense that you are here for a reason and that you are the one to make it happen. That deep-rooted sense that is buried in your heart, lived out in you life and that hope that keeps you moving forward. It does not matter if that is huge or small, it is your sense of purpose. Not all of us will be like a Nelson Mandela or a Bill Gates. You have a role to play in your family, friends and community. Do you know what that is for you?
Never stop to push the envelope of what you can achieve and accomplish. Never rest of the past accomplishments but always strive to do better. The reality is that change will happen and it is either you are in the driver seat or the one trying to catch up with the moving car. It is never easy to run after someone or something. It is harder to be the driver of change but the ride is so much more comfortable cause you are in control.
Just stay curious, leave the fear behind. Curiosity to learn, to grow and to develop. Don’t let fear stop you from trying new things. Stay curious about the things that interest you. Read, learn and try them out. You never know what you don’t know until you know it.

What motivates you to keep on going? What drives you to strive harder? Take advantage of the fact that you are in a good place in your life to expand it further. You never know, it could be far greater than what it is now.