3 Critical “Things” Money can’t Buy

We all work because we need money. Money will give you all sorts of things. It will buy us a big house, cars, holidays, every gadget imaginable to mankind and every shoe, handbag and clothing our wardrobe can contain. Have you ever just sat down and thought about what money can’t buy? There are 3 essentials that money can’t buy:

  1.  Time: Money can’t buy more time. You cannot buy more than 24 hours a day. Each of us whether rich or poor will have 24 hours a day. No more, no less. Time is therefore the most valuable commodity we each have. Once it’s gone, it’s gone. Wasting time is probably our biggest enemy.
  2. Fulfillment: Money can to a certain extend buy love, happiness, friends but it can’t buy true and long-lasting love, happiness and relationships. Fulfillment comes from meaningful relationships and living out our purpose that brings about significance in lives of those around you.  It is about living out an authentic life shared with others.
  3. Life: The most valuable and no amount of money can buy. Yes, sadly but true. You can’t buy life. You might be able to extend it but you can’t buy life. Each of us have this one life. Whatever the lifespan, we need to make the most of it.  To learn to appreciate and live out a life that is true to each of our calling. Life is precious. Don’t spend your life pursuing money but pursue a life of significance with money that you have.

Hence the question, what drives each of us to want more money? I dare say that it is the illusion of what money can buy. Money is perceived to be able to buy happiness, gives you power, security and comforts of life. Yes in many ways it does. It can buy you happiness, temporary in most situations but never buys you true joy. It can buy you security but not peace. It can afford to you the comforts of life but not a joyful life.

What is then the best approach towards money? I believe that the examples of Bill Gates and Warren Buffet and their philanthropic efforts is what we can learn from. It is about how best we can use the resources that we are given to give back. No matter the amount of money we have, every little cent that we invest wisely into lives will be significant in its impact over time.

What should you invest with money?

  1. Time: Strange considering that I had mentioned that we can’t buy time. What we can buy is a more productive use of our time.  We can buy “time” by saving time. For example, you can buy 1 hour of cleaning services for $50, and in turn you will have 1 hour to spend with your family at the beach. Think about in what area of your life you could “buy time”.
  2. Experiences: Pay for learnings and growth. Each of us can only gain experiences when we live it out. Invest in learning opportunities. Invest in travel. Invest in enriching the lives of you and your family by spending time together. It is experiences of relationships, serving one another, doing life together that makes one’s life fulfilled.
  3. Giving back of your life: It is always better to give than to receive. And yet, you can’t really give until you have received.  Anthony Robbins has shared about his life as a young child when he experienced the impact of someone giving to his family and in turn, now he gives back to countless more families.  The comforts and blessings of the life that you have is meant to be shared with others. We are not meant to be hoarders but to be givers.  It does not require all your money, it does require your time, your willingness to go out of your way and a heart to want to give.

What is your principle when it comes to money? How tightly are you holding on to your money? What can you use money to invest in? What is your long-term investment plan? Are you investing in life or money?

Tired of Change? Take Control

Life is full of changes.  After all without change, there is no growth, no new lessons and no new experiences.  Life would be a little too boring.  Really?  There are times when we just want change to stop.  Just to be able to press the pause button so that we can think.  Unfortunately that’s not the world that we live in.  That is not how things are.  What should we do when we have had enough with the changing environment?  What if the changes that are taking place are not what we want?  What if the changes that are taking place are just downright wrong or bad?

How do we gain perspective in order to put things in its right perspective?  What is our anchor?  What is your North Star?

It all boils down to getting back to basics.  It involves these 5 areas:

 1.  Remember your values.  Your values is your compass.  It is your North Star.  Remember what you believe in.  Reflect and discover what your values are if you are unsure.  Once you are clear on what your values are, then it is a basis for your next steps and decisions.

2.  Rearrange your prioritises based on your values.  Once you have identified your core values, reassess what you are doing now and ask yourself

  • “Does it align with my values?”
  • “What do I need to change or modify in order for what I do aligns with my values?” .
  • “What do I need to stop doing?”
  • “What do I need to start doing in order for me to live out my values?”
  • “What should I now prioritise first?”
  • “How should I prioritise?”
  • “What structures do I need to put in place in order to achieve my new prioritises?”

 

3.  Accept the consequences of reprioritising.  Be prepared for the consequences of the changes that you will be making as a result of this exercise.  It might not be easy to make certain transitions or decisions.  Once you are certain, you will need to be prepared of the short term consequences.  However, be focus on the long term gains that you are making as a result of the change.  Always remember and keep your eye on the goals that you want to achieve.

4.  Step out and take control.  I love Nike’s slogan of Just DO It.  It really is just do it.  Plans are great on paper, and until it is executed, it means very little.  Just step out and act.  Just know that it is normal and you are not the only one who has ever felt fear, anxiety and uncertainty of the unknown.  Remember, you are not alone and if you need help there are various forums where you can get mentorships, coaching and other forms of assistance.

5.  Be thankful and grateful for the opportunity to remember.  To help put things into perspective is to have a thankful and grateful approach to life.  Each stepping stone, each fork on the road has a purpose.  See the big picture through the eyes of gratefulness.  It is far better than through the lens of negativity.

 

You are in control of your change.  There are times that circumstances will force changes upon you.  When and if change takes place, know that you are still in control of how you react and what you do with the opportunity.

We all get tired of change.  However, it is also the perfect opportunity to take stock, reassess your values, reprioritise and take steps to control the outcomes which aligns to your values.

3 Tips to End Well before Moving On

There is a season for everything. There is a time to start something new. There is time to end a journey. Whether it’s a start or an end, it is all about moving on to the next adventure. For all of us, we will be faced with moments and decisions where it is either to end something or start afresh. Both needs to be addressed well.

Before we can move on to the next step, we need to end or conclude the current step well. To end well is to take stock and reflect as well as to be thankful and grateful for the opportunities and the people that traveled the path with you. What do you need to do to end well?

  1.  Be grateful and thankful. As you reflect, have a heart that is grateful for the opportunities, challenges, wins and lessons that you learned. Be thankful for the people that you had the privilege of knowing and working together. And tell them.
  2. Complete your role well. End a role or career on a high. End knowing that you have given the best and not leave a mess.
  3. Let it go. When you end a role or job, let it go. Don’t look back. Don’t keep asking your friends who are there about the issues or problems.  Let it go. You don’t want to start on a new path with any baggage from the past.

You will need to end well so that there is closure to one area. Good ending is the start of a good beginning. Why? There are 3 simple reasons:

  1.  No regrets. You will have no regrets and no “wish-things-could-be-different” thoughts. There is a good healthy sense of growth in your experience, development and achievements. The experiences, both good and bad are placed in the right perspective.  You are able to have a healthy perspective of what you have encountered and overcame as well as what you have accomplished.
  2. Peace. You will have peace in knowing that you did your best and whatever achievements and failures are part of the learning and growing experience.       Entering into a new stage of your life is much easier when you have a sense of peace going into it. You are starting on the right foot.
  3. Optimism. You will have a great positive outlook for your next move. You will start with a great sense of optimism as you will not be carrying any unnecessary baggage as you embark on your new move.  When the new adventure starts with an optimistic view, it will help to overcome the initial anxiety and fear that naturally comes with starting something new. There is something hopeful and exciting that optimism brings along.

What could you do to end well? Ask yourself:

  • What do I need to do to end well?
  • What critical areas do I need to complete?
  • What am I grateful for?
  • Who am I thankful for?
  • What do I need to let go off?
  • What challenges or issues do I need to move past?
  • What do I need to put to rest?
  • What excitement does this next move have in store for me?
  • What can I contribute to in this new journey?
  • What impact can I make?

As the year is coming to a close, we all need to end the year well and the start the new year. Start by thinking what you can do to end it well in order for you to start the new year amazingly.

 

 

3 Ways to act on your procrastination

I have a confession.  I am a procrastinator.  More specifically a selective procrastinator.  Selective because I choose what to procrastinate on.  On the flip side, I am a selectively proactive.  I decide and choose what I want to be proactive about.  I know that I am not alone in this category.  A recent deadline got me thinking, what factors contribute to the procrastination?  Could it be the following:

  • I am not interested or passionate about the topic or task to begin with.
  • It is not important to me.
  • It is not a priority for me.
  • Over time, after ignoring it, I have just forgotten.

Whatever the reason, procrastination does not solve the problem.  In fact it could make it worse.  So learning from my most recent experience, I have come to conclude that procrastination will:

  • not complete the task at hand.
  • not make the problem go away.  If anything, it might make it bigger.
  • not mean that other people have forgotten what you need to do.
  • give you unnecessary anxiety and stress when you realise that you can no longer procrastinate.
  • cost you something.

Therefore, in order to avoid all those unpleasant situations above, here are my top 3 sure-fire way to force yourself to act:

  1. Find someone to remind you.  In fact constantly remind you.  Give that person the permission to be your voice of action.  Let that person be the “fly”.  Buzzing around you until it is done.
  2. Deadline.  There is a reason why the word is DEADline.  It has to be a reasonable deadline else you will procrastinate.  Don’t give yourself any room to make excuses.
  3. Reward Yourself.  I personally find that the best motivator.  Reward yourself when you get the task done.  Make the reward more compelling than the task at hand.  You could even “pay” yourself for the work completed.

If all those still does not work, just pay someone to do it.  Now if paying someone else to do it is out of the question or you can’t afford it, then just get it done yourself!  Which ever path you take, it will cost you something.  The question is which price are you willing to pay.

5 misconception about Self-Care

Tired?  Burned out?  Just don’t feel like you have the physical energy to do anything?  No matter, we will just have to force our way through the day just because there is no choice.  We know deep down why we feel this way.  We know why we can’t focus.  We know why we are not making the best possible decision.  We know it’s because we are just physically tired.  We have “abused” our body with lack of rest, bad food choices and lack of exercise.  We know that we need rest, good balance diet and some form of exercise.  What is stopping us from taking care of ourselves?

I am suggesting that there are 5 key reasons that leads to each of us NOT putting enough effort into looking after ourselves.  These reasons are:

  1. Self-care equals Selfish or Self-centredness.  There is a great misconception that self-care is considered as being selfish.  Being selfish or self-centred is clearly not a good attribute to have but in this situation, self-care is being kind and caring.  If you do not take care of yourself, you are not able to care for others.  When you are tired, you are also most probably grumpy and easily angered.  I believe that nothing good ever comes out of any situation when you are grumpy.  Therefore you are not doing anyone favours when you are tired.  Take the time to rest, sleep well and the people around you will thank you for it.
  2. Self-care is a waste of money.  Wasting money is clearly bad.  There is a misconception that in order to pursue self-care, it will cost money and time that we do not have.  It will cost more money to buy “healthier” food options, to join a gym and to get a massage or facial.    That is clearly not true.  Eating healthier does not cost anymore as it is just about making the right decisions to swap certain food types.  Exercise does not cost any more than having a pair of walking or running shoes and hitting the pavement.  At home facials do not cost anymore and can be more relaxing with a hot bath and a cucumber mask.
  3. Self-care is a waste of time.  No one  has time to waste.  Every minute is too precious. However, the reality is that time is relative and if you are to account for every minute of the day, you will find that you have probably spent more than an hour on playing candy crush.  There will be pockets of time that could have been better utilised.  Time that we could set aside for some exercise and relaxing activities for the mind and soul.
  4. Self-care is a sign of weakness.  We live in a world where we do not want to appear to be weak.  A sign of weakness is when we are not able to do everything that we are expected to do.  And what makes it worse is when we compare ourselves with someone else.  There is always that annoying “super-miss-can-do-it-all” and “super-mr-have-it-all” just around the corner.  Whether that’s true or not, you are living your life and must make your life based on YOU.  You need to live out your life based on who you are and what you are called to do.  It is not a sign of weakness to ask for help and certainly not weak to decide to spend time on yourself.  In fact it is a bold decision to do so.
  5. Self-care is NOT for someone like me.  When we look at someone who is “rich”, we see them come out of the hair salon or massage spa, we think that’s an indulgent lifestyle that is not for you.  There is perception that only certain kinds of people are entitled to enjoy themselves. Self-care is not for the elite.  It is for you just as much as it is for me.  We are all entitled to self-care.

We need to have a structure in place for self-care.  As human beings, we essentially have 3 aspects, the physical, emotional and mental.  Each must be taken care off in order for us to live a balance life.  We need to ensure that physically we are in good shape as we are first and foremost physical being.  Depending on our physical state whether we are tired or energised, it will drive our emotional and mental state.  For our mental health, there are mindfulness exercises as well as meditations that we can practice.  As all 3 aspects need to be in balance and looked after, we need to be mindful of what we do.  Each aspect needs to be taken into account.  Don’t wait for one aspect to break down or burn out for you to start.

Start today by being kind to yourself and take care to self-care.