5 Unique qualities of End of the Year

I am one of those people who just loves the end of the year.  It is as if I started the year looking forward to the year ending.  There is something unique about end of the year.   It signifies to me:

  1. Conclusion of another milestone.  Like in a race, we run or compete for the prize, to cross the finish line.  End of the year is like that.  It is the finishing line for the year.  At the conclusion of the race, there is a time of reflection, resolution and reward.
  2. Point of Reference:  It provides me with a point of reference in terms of goals, achievements and perspectives.  This year, I started a couple of new endeavours.  Firstly, I started a coaching practice and secondly this blog.  I have always wanted to do them but never did until this year.  Therefore, my points of reference are the level of achievements on those two fronts for me to build upon in the coming year.
  3. Anchor point for gratitude.  A great time to reflect and to be thankful and grateful for the year.  To remember and reflect areas of life that are grateful points.  These points should provide an anchor point for the new year.  To appreciate the many blessings, big and small will help in ensuring that I don’t take anything for granted.  It helps to raise the level of awareness for the people around you.
  4. There is no bad year just a developmental year.  I am constantly reminded that in any situation and circumstances, it is the hard and tough times that shapes and molds us the most.  It is the sharpening of the saw that hurts the most.  However, it produces the growth in our character, attitudes and knowledge that can only come from those moments.  There are many times when I have come out the other end of tough times, and when I look back, I would think, that wasn’t so bad, I survived.  That’s what experience and perspectives provides.  A change in my approach and attitude towards challenges.
  5. Celebration.  The celebration at the end of the year is always the best.  Whether it’s the festivities of Christmas or just the time of the year to celebrate the fact that the year is over.  Celebration is an important part of our lives.  Go and celebrate and enjoy the time with family and friends.

 

Enjoy the end of the year.

 

PS – I am a firm believer of setting goals for your life.  The goals don’t have to be audacious, just goals that would challenge you.  Without setting goals, the end of the year could be rather aimless.  How would you know what you have achieved if you did not set a goal?  What is your point of reference if there was not any to begin with?  It is never too late.  There are 7 more days before the end of the year, set some now and get moving.  It will make you end the year feeling that you have accomplished something.

Be grateful

One of the many attributes that will help you live a happy life is the art of being grateful.  Grateful is about being thankful and appreciative of someone or something.  To be grateful requires a mindful conscious act for most of us.  It is being tuned in to people and circumstances that you can be thankful for.  Most people don’t even think twice about an act of kindness that was shown or an assistance that was rendered.  Most people certainly won’t remember what kind deed was done not because they are ungrateful but because we don’t stop and reflect.

5 Ways to start your journey to being a grateful person:

  1. Start with writing it down:  The process of writing it down requires you to take time to reflect and focus on areas to be grateful for.  Write it down, every thing, no matter small or simple.  For example, good health, able to walk and run, able to have a job that you enjoy, able to help someone etc.  Don’t overlook the trivial matters.  Good health is something to be grateful for.  If you don’t have good health, quality of life generally suffers.  So start with what you have taken for granted.  The goal is that over time and with practice, the process will become just another natural extension of your character.
  2. Take time to show your appreciation:  When someone helps you out in some area, take the time to show your appreciation.  Show that you are grateful for an act of service or kindness.  I am sure that the person will appreciate it.  A simple thank you will suffice and ensure that you look at the person while saying it vs. distractingly saying it.  Mean it.
  3. How can you pay forward?:  Being a grateful person isn’t just about feeling grateful for all the good things that you have received, but it is truly about, how can you share that with others?  Who can you pay forward to?  Random act of kindness.  We receive blessings so that we can share that blessings with others.  Blessings are not meant to be kept, stored and tucked away.
  4. Don’t take anyone or anything for granted:  It is so easy to take those closest to us for granted.  We just don’t “see” them anyone or even consider their situation.  To be grateful, requires that we don’t take our eyes off the people we love just because we are now seeing everyone around us.  Treasure those closest first and the rest will fall into place.
  5. Release comparison:  One of the negative effects of comparing with others, is the birth of envy and death to gratefulness.   The Jones’s effect leads to discontent, jealousy, slander and never ending obsession for more.  The key to releasing comparison is to be comfortable and contented with who you are, what you have and not have.  To do that, you need to be grateful.  I have come to learn to that having enough is the best balance.  For example, you can only wear one watch at a time, drive one car at a time, eat only as much as what your stomach can take in, drink just enough wine before it does damage etc.  To try and have more does not add to your level of peace or contentment.  In fact in today stressful world, to have the right balance of stress is important.  Enough stress to drive you to perform better but not too much that will give you hypertension.

Being grateful is a conscious thought process until it becomes your character.  As it is a conscious thought process, every one is able to start learning and eventually become a grateful person.

Ask yourself:

  • Would you describe yourself as a grateful person?
  • What are you grateful for?
  • How have I shared my life with others?
  • If your family or friends were to describe you, what would they say?

There is a certain level of peace and contentment when we meet a person who demonstrates gratefulness.  Who doesn’t want to live a happy life filled with peace and contentment?  What is stopping you today?

5 ways you can be your own cheerleader

We all need a cheer squad to help us push forward.  In tough circumstances having a cheer squad is important.  To know that you have people supporting and encouraging you gives you the added courage to take risk, to make a change as well as to continue on a path that you have chosen.  Depending on others to help you on is great and to know how you can be your own cheerleader is even better.  When you are your own cheerleader, you know how to pick yourself up, know what deeply motivates and drives you and most importantly you are not easily distracted by others.

As good as the people around you may be, there will be times when they might disagree with you, disagree with your approach or not fully understand why you are doing what you are doing.  Hence in order to stay the course that you have decided on, you need to be your own cheerleader.

I have discovered that there are 5 ways that you can do that:

  1. Source of Motivation:  What motivates you?  What are you passionate about?  What are the drivers for this course of action?  List them down.  Be simple and clear.  Make the list visible.  Put it up on your fridge or by your mirror.  Remind yourself.
  2. Past Lessons or experiences gained:  Recall what were the past lessons and experiences that you had gone through.  What did you learn?  How did you overcome?  What did you gain from going through the previous tough times?  Reflecting on what happened in the past and how you succeed will help you to gain the confidence and courage that you need when you are faced with tough challenges.
  3. Be positive or Don’t beat yourself up:  When the situation is tough, don’t beat yourself up.  Don’t pull down who you are but challenge your actions.  Actions and decisions can be changed, modified and problems can be solved.  Know who you are and what you are good at.  Ask yourself, what are my strengths?  List them down.   List down positive quotes and motivation quotes that resonates with you.  Listen to music that inspires you.  Reminding yourself of your strengths will give you the encouragement that you can do it.  You have the skills, abilities and talents to achieve your goal.  There are times when the actions that we have taken needs to be corrected or ideas need to be innovated.   Make the adjustments.  Don’t hold on to process or steps as there are many ways to achieve the same outcome.  Don’t confuse the outcome with the methods.  Just make sure that you are not doubting who you are in the process.
  4. Reward yourself:   It is always fun when you achieve a certain milestone.  Learn to reward yourself for it.  The milestone can be whatever you deem right.  The reward should be equivalent to the task.  The idea of rewarding yourself is so that you can celebrate the achievement.  Acknowledge that you have made it this far.  To know just how much or little more you have to do to accomplish your goal.
  5. Celebrate:  Don’t be shy to celebrate an accomplishment.   That’s what a cheer squad does, it celebrates accomplishments.  Celebrate and share the moment with others.  It not only feels great, it will also motivate those around you.

I believe that each of us need to be our own cheerleader as that’s the only “person” that is with you all the time.  The responsibility is in your hands.  Cheer squad is great  to help support you but they can’t do what you need to do.  Your actions are in your hands.

3 ways to get out of boredom

There are moments in our day where we get this strange feeling of boredom.  At work, busy as we might be, there are times when this feeling of boredom just sets in.  At home, even though there is a mountain of household chores to do, boredom sets in.   What causes that?  I have discovered that there are  3 common causes of boredom:

  1. Routine:  The work has become routine.  It is no longer challenging or exciting.  You could do it with your eyes closed and one hand tied behind your back.
  2. Meaningless:  There is a sense that all these actions or things before you is meaningless.  Whether it is completed well or not, brings no real satisfaction.  It does not bring about a sense of accomplishment.
  3. Too much or no activity:  At both ends of the activity spectrum, there is a sense of too much or lack of “things” to do.  Too much activities will cause burned out scenario and no activity will just make you into a slug.

What do we need to do to find a balanced and meaningful way to feel significant?  What do we need to do to get out of “boredom”?

I find that there are 3 ways of going about this:

    1. Experiment:  Try new activities.  Test them out.  Even in the most routine of activities, try something different.  For example, if vacuuming the house is your least favourite activity, try vacuuming with your favourite dance music.  Try vacuuming different section of the house first.  Play a game of finders keepers.  Another good option is to pick a new activity that you might like to learn.  Even you don’t think you would be good at it or even like, just give it a go.  For example, I never thought much of gardening.  I decided that maybe I will give it go and plant some herbs and invest into an organic lifestyle.  Never did I imagine that I could actually successfully grow herbs but actually quite enjoy the fruits of my labour.
    2. Know your purpose:  Purpose drives a lot of our behaviour and motivation.  Without a clear sense of purpose, it is hard to go through the drudgery of life and feel that your life is meaningful.  Each of us are created to play a part for the greater good of mankind.  A quick way to discover what your purpose might be:
      1. Write:  Start by writing down a simple list:
        1. What do you enjoy?
        2. What are you good at?
        3. What are not good at?
        4. What are you passionate about?
        5. What do you want to accomplish?
        6. What would  others say about you?

 

Identify key or common words:

 

    1. Identify some common words that you have written down.  They could be values that you hold important or desires to accomplish.
    2. For example, you might find words like creative, travel, change, challenges etc. common and exciting to you.
    3. Write a sentence that would best encapsulate what you have written down.  Read it out aloud.  Read it out to your partner or friend and see how that resonates.

Once you have discovered what feels right and comes naturally to you, you could well be on your way to discovering what your purpose is.

3.  Find enjoyment in at least one activity:  Find an activity or exercise that you enjoy.  Whether its walking, running, golfing, dancing etc.  It does not matter what that activity is so long as its an exercise that will cause you to work those muscles and heart and as a result will cause your body to naturally produce feel good hormone, serotonin.  By the way, I don’t think that Candy Crush would qualify:)

To put it all together, when you are feeling “bored” in the workplace, go for a walk, explore new ideas or ways of doing your job and you will be surprise at how new ideas will bring about a change in your mindset.  There are times, for me, all I have to do is rearrange my  desk and I would feel like its something new and exciting.  Especially when I have rearranged it so well that I would not be playing hide and seek with my stuff.  It is a change in mindset, a small change is sometimes all we need to get going again.

View boredom as a means of change and it brings about new ideas and exciting possibilities because your mind is begging you to do something different.

Legacy: What is yours?

As another year almost comes to an end, the question that comes up is “What have I accomplished this year?”.  Maybe the question to ask is one that builds upon each year and that is “What is the legacy that I am building?”.

This question causes you to think not about your present circumstances but what it would be if you could do what you dream of doing.  If you could release fear and judgement, and take that step of faith, what would you do?.  For a moment, just imagine, what is your legacy?  what are you leaving behind?  Now that you have imagined a picture of your legacy, what do you need to do to make it real?

Now, what is stopping you?

The question of “What is the legacy that I am building or leaving behind?”  will require each of us to not view our accomplishments in an isolated manner but consider the impact of our actions and words to the people around us as well as the community.

This mindset shift will result in:

  • Short term vs. long term.  Time frame shift:  The change in how we view time frame is critical in how we walk, run or sprint through life.  There are many of us who go through life like we are running a sprint, a whirlwind day and by the end, we can’t even remember what we have done.  We may have gotten a lot of our checklist items completed, and yet, deep down we wonder, what did we accomplish?  Did we build into anything of significance?  When we view our acts or contributions as building into something, then when the going gets tough, the purpose or goal that we had in mind will drive us through those tough murky days.  Every small step counts.
  • Personal gain or building into others:  Building a legacy requires that something to be left behind for others or those to come after us.  That something can be material things as well as what you will be remembered for by others.  Therefore the question is “Is this for my personal gain or one that can be built upon for others as well?”  In this world where it is everyone for themselves, it is easy to make the decision based on self-centered needs and wants.  In fact it is expected of others to not be selfish or self-centered, but when it comes to you, does it ring true as well?  How do our words and  actions impact those around us?  Are they encouraging or discouraging to the people around us?
  • One hit wonder or continuous improvements and innovations:  Legacies are not built in a day or by just one action but through continuous committed series of actions.  In order to build a legacy, there is a need to never stop, never give up in making the adjustments and improvements to do better each time.  In order to achieve that, the heart of why we do what we do must be clear and pure.  There is no pretending to be supportive of your friend if you are not deep down.  Pretense will always be found out.  Never stop to be a better person as no one is perfect but to be matured and wise takes time and effort.
  • Accumulating wealth or sharing blessings:  Look at someone like Bill Gates.  He has a lot of monetary wealth and with it he is also making a difference by sharing it to solve problems like eradicating malaria, polio, promoting education and so on.  He is an example of someone sharing what he has to make a difference and leaving a powerful legacy in the process.  What is your perspective?  Are you simply accumulating and just enriching your personal sphere or are you sharing what you have been blessed with others?  What builds upon your legacy?

As the year comes to an end, what have you built that goes into a legacy that you are leaving behind?  Who have your touched?  What difference have you made to the people around you?  It is never too late to think about making a difference, being significant.  Each of us has that desire to be significant.  Don’t just “feel” it, take action.  Resolve to not just let the year go by without leaving your mark on this life.  Start today.