“I am so busy every day.  At the end of the day, I don’t know if I accomplished anything?”  Have you heard that before?  Have you said it before?  Have you looked at your calendar and wondered what are those back to back meetings for?  At the end of a day, after sitting through 8-10 meetings, have you ever felt like you should be known as the meeting attendee and not by your job title?  Have you realised that as your job responsibilities increases and grows, the number of meetings and length of meetings that you are attending also grows?  Have you also wondered whether you have made an impact or not?  Have you questioned your productivity and accomplishment in light of the busyness?

Personally, I have experienced my share of back to back meetings, a sense of great busyness and yet filled with a sense that I did not accomplish much or accomplished anything of great significance.  Sure, I wanted to be part of decision making process or situations where my thoughts are valued and yet time and time again, I find myself asking “What would have happened if I did not attend?”  Could I have used the time better?

A common phrase today that I hear from my clients is “I have no time.  No time to do what I need to do.  Time just races by.”  The reality is that all of us has the same number of hours in a day as the next person.  So the question is, why are some people seemingly more productive or are able to manage their time better?  What is their secret?

As I explore further with my clients, there are usually some common themes that comes up to explain their busyness and it falls into these 3 categories:

1. No or Lack of Focus and goals.  There is a lack of focus or prioritization into what they would like to accomplish on a daily or weekly basis.   When we start the day without an idea as to what you would like to accomplish even if it is just 1 thing, we are prone to just following the schedule of the day.  It is also easy for other people to pull you into their agenda when you are not clear on what your outcomes are for the day.  Having a clear outcome or goal from each meeting will help you come out of it with a sense that you have achieved.
2. Difficulties in saying No.  This is common sense and yet all of us fall victim to not being able to say No to some people out of obligation or if a manager asks us to.  What could have been a great start to the day, turns into a random set of activities because the manager has given you a new task that he needs done.  What can you do?  How would you push back on your manager?  You can try to negotiate but let’s face it, sometimes it’s just a matter of managing the random activities without feeling out of sorts.  That in itself is an accomplishment.
3. “No one else can do it.” syndrome.  This is especially common for the high achievers, those of us who are very competent and good at what we do.  We know we can do, others know we are do it and therefore the trap is to do it all.  If we fall into that trap, there will never be enough hours in a day for you to complete 10 people’s work.  The ability to “let go” and let others do their work is not just necessary but required.  It is especially hard if you are the manager as ultimately you are accountable for the overall project.  However, as a manager you will then need to play your role as a coach to guide them and as a manager to lead and manage.

Which category are you in?  Busy or Productive?  You can be busy and productive but you should avoid being busy and not productive.  There are many books and reading materials on how to be productive or start the day right and so on, if you have not read them, do so and get some tips.  Try some of them and see what works for you.  In general, they would fall into these 3 categories:

1. Start the day with clear goals.  Identify what you would like to accomplish for the day.  Write them out and refer to them throughout the day.  Remind yourself what are the key things that needs to be completed.  Focus on completing them before taking on more.
2. Focus on the impactful and important activities.  Putting the time and effort on the impactful and important activities will ensure that you get the best outcome.  There will always be many tasks and activities to be completed but not all of them are equal in terms of impact and effort.  Focus on spending the most time on the impactful ones which may not necessarily be the ones that you enjoy the most.
3. Letting go to empower others to be successful.  Empowering others to do their roles is critical for a manager.  Micro managing your team never works for both you and your team.  If you are part of a team, let the person who is responsible for a task to do it.  Hold them accountable for what they are responsible for as you are responsible and accountable for yours.  Just because you can or have done it before, does not mean that you continue to do it.  You need to focus on what you are responsible for.  Don’t take on more than you can handle even if you can.

The next time you catch yourself saying “I have no time or I am busy”, ask yourself “Am I busy or productive?”  If the answer is I am busy and productive, great but if not, is there something that you like to change?  The danger of not changing your approach will be, over time you will be tired, disillusioned, demotivated and resentful.  Make the change, it will help you feel a sense of accomplishment and motivate you to grow and learn.

Have you ever come across someone that just annoys  you?  That person who just seems to trigger a negative response in you.  Just hearing them or seeing them makes you want to turn the other direction and walk away.  What do you do when you can’t escape?  You are in a meeting with them or have to work with them.  What do you do? 

Things to know about annoying people:

1. They think and act like they are better than you.  Maybe they are fountain of knowledge.  Give credit where credit is due.
2. They believe that they are better than you.  Maybe they are but does that really matter.
3. They think that they know it all and therefore have to let everyone know that they know it all.
4. They feel entitled.  Entitled to receive all the credit, all the recognition and awards.
5. They feel that the world revolves around them.

What annoying people don’t know:

1. They are annoying.  Some people don’t realise that they are annoying.  Of course some do know and enjoy it.
2. They are not liked.  They don’t know why people don’t like them or why no many people want to get to know them better.
3. There might be something wrong about them.
4. They might not be as good as they think they are.

Why are you annoyed by these people?

1. You see them for who you believe they are – not as good as they think.
2. Misalign with your value system.
3. Battle of egos – that’s right yours vs. theirs.
4. You just don’t like their behaviour and attitude.

What can you do?

1. Stay away from them.
2. Play nice and polite.
3. Change your perception, maybe you can learn something from them especially around what NOT to do.
4. Look at one positive quality.  There must  be at least one positive quality that they would have.  No one is perfect.
5. Be objective and professional.  No drinks with them for sure.

Ask yourself:

1. Are you that annoying person?
2. Think about one person who annoys you.  What is it that annoys you?  List them down.
3. Now compare that list of annoying traits with your values or beliefs.  Are there any similarities?  What are the differences?
4. What can you do to make your interactions more pleasant for you?
5. What can you learn from them?  What can you learn NOT to do?
6. Now ask yourself again, are you that annoying person.

Truth be told, we can’t avoid them and therefore might as well make the best of the interaction.  There is always something to learn from one another and therefore, if you take that approach, you will surely learn something.  Enjoy!

“For good ideas and true innovation, you need human interaction, conflict, argument, debate.” – Margaret Heffernan

Conflicts.  I am not comfortable with it.  If possible I would avoid it.  That’s my personality.  However, after years of working, I had developed another approach.  At work, conflicts need to be dealt with quickly.  This is to prevent, what could have been a minor issue from becoming a full-blown conflict where there are no winners, just losers.  Conflicts can be toxic in any workplace environment.  People will start to gossip, talk behind our backs, groups are formed, judgments are formed and verdicts decided upon.  All this without actually knowing the truth.

What should we do with conflicts?  It is uncomfortable.  Most of the time, we are ill-equipped to handle it.  The most obvious answer is to deal with it and work it out.  Solve the matter and move on.  However, the question is how?

“Whenever you’re in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it.  That factor is attitude.”–  William James.

The starting point is with you.  Yes, you and not the other person.  To start with,  we need to be honest.  Honest with ourselves as to what is the real reason behind the conflict.  Is it personality differences?  Is it hurt pride?  Is it out of fear?  Is it out of jealousy?  Once you realise the reasons behind the conflict, you are now able to figure out options.  To figure out your attitude, ask yourself these questions:

• What is the core issue?  Focus on the issue to be solved.   Am I holding on to my idea because I want it done it my way?  Do I think of myself as the “loser” if I compromise?  Is the fear of being “wrong” causing me to be fight?  Find out the motive behind your attitude.  There are always many approach to solving a problem, hence release the need to be right or the  need to do it my way.
• What judgements or underlying beliefs am I holding onto that could be holding me  back?  We all have a set of underlying beliefs that will shape the way we think and how we perceive or interpret a situation.   For example, if I have an underlying belief centered around hard work and therefore the need to work long hours.  This will therefore cause me to perceive someone who works not as long as me, as someone who is lazy or not pulling his/her share of the weight.  Let’s be open to the fact that different people work differently so long as the outcome is reached, not the way that  it is achieved.  Releasing the underlying beliefs can sometimes help you view situations  in a different light.
• Am I open to different options and approaches?  Be honest.  If you are not, then it is safe to say that there is no point in wanting to solve a conflict.  Conflicts cannot be resolved if people involved are not open to varying solutions.

If you have answered those questions and now know the issues, the underlying beliefs that you hold and am open to options, then we can proceed to the action steps.

• Set up a discussion.  Discuss in an  open and objective manner with regards to the issue, where the challenges are and willingness to move forward.
• Summarise and repeat what you hear.  Listen to the issues, options, concerns and solutions and summarise or repeat what was said.  This will help you do 2 things (1) help you to truly listen (2) demonstrate that you have listened and heard what was said.  It will also provide clarity and opportunity to clarify if there were any misunderstanding or assumptions made.
• Agree on what you agree on and agree to disagree on those you don’t.  Moving forward does not require perfect agreement.  We don’t have to agree on everything.  We just need to know what the disagreements are and know how to move forward.  Agree on what is required to move the task or action ahead.  In most cases, the disagreement comes from method of execution vs. the goal or desired outcome.  Remember, there are more than one way to get to the destination.
• Commit to the course of action.  Agree and be committed with it.  Sometimes we just agree just to get out of a meeting but we know that this approach is not going to work as there is no agreement or commitment.  There must be not just agreement but commitment to the course of action.
• Accountability.  Ensure that there are accountabilities in place for all involved.  A structure or process in place to track and keep everyone on track.

“The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph.”  Thomas Paine.