The most common coaching topic that I have is around change and moving / transitioning to something new. There are times when deep down inside you know that its time to move on. Move on from your current role, change career, start another chapter in your life. Whatever the transition that needs to take place but you are not making the change. There are many reasons for not making the move and all of them are valid. However, on the flip side, there are also risks and dangers for not moving on.
The top 3 dangers are:
- Fear Grows: One of the common reason a majority of people do not make the move unless pushed is because of FEAR. The longer we postpone a decision to change, we allow fear to grow. Fear grows with time and comfort. The risk factor grows with time too. The longer we wait, the more we have to lose. Fear take a life of its own and in some cases so paralysing that you are not able to see beyond it. The reality of fear is that it is as big and as real as you make it to be.
- Settling for comfort: There is nothing wrong with being comfortable but there is with settling for comfort. Settling like compromise is basically saying to yourself that I don’t need to grow or to improve. The effect of settling at a certain stage is we stop learning. The impact is not just on yourself, the impact is on others as well. When someone settles for something, there is a sense of security but that sense of security is very quickly and easily threatened by someone or something that rocks the boat.
- Insecurity grows: At the back of our minds, we know when change is required. We know when its time to move on. We are resisting that move. As a result, our insecurity will grow. Insecurity grows very much like fear. We are insecure with our position and decisions. The options available becomes smaller and it will feel like there is no way out. In order to keep the security level, the rise of insecurity will cause 2 reactions:
- To prevent the change. A person will do almost anything to prevent the change from taking place. Road blocks, resistance, negative excuses, are some form of how a person will respond.
- To stop the object of the change. A person will also do everything possible to stop the object of change. The object of change could be a person or a situation. To stop change from taking place, that person might tarnish or discredit the person who is initiating change.
These dangers will not just cause issue for the person, but also for people around them. You might know people who fall into this category. You could be in this category. What can you do?
There are some questions that you can ask yourself truthfully?
- What areas am I still growing/learning and what areas have I stop developing in?
- What would happen if I don’t make the move?
- What would happen if I did make the move?
- When there was a change suggested to me, what was my reaction?
- What areas am I excited about?
- If I could do anything, what would it be or look like? How close or far off is my current situation with vision?
- What new skills do I need to develop?
- Have I stopped or prevented anyone from moving forward?
- Where / Who can help me figure this out objectively? Seek out that person and work it through.
You know when its time to change or move on. All might need is a little push and guidance along the way. Ask yourself, would you regret not making the change now vs. 5 years down the line?