Monthly Archives: June 2015

How many of us would say that we love to wait?  How many of us would say that we are really patient when we are waiting? Have you ever been annoyed watching people who seem to be enjoying the wait?  I can safely say that I don’t enjoy waiting, not even one second.  Can you imagine just how much I can accomplish in that one second of waiting?

However, truth be told, waiting is an act that is required of us and in fact we demand it from others.  Think about, has there been anything that we do that does not include some form of waiting?  I have to wait for my coffee to appear from the Nespresso machine (sometimes that can seem like eternity) to waiting for the hot water to come out from the freezing pipes to more significant waiting time eg waiting for a potential client to come back to me.  That got me thinking, when has the waiting been “acceptable” and even welcomed and when is it just  downright frustrating.

Was it the significance of the outcome that made the waiting unbearable?  Was it just having the right expectations and mindset about the waiting time?  Was it my calm, zen-like nature that is just more patient (ok that’s not me)?

I think that it comes down to the following:

1. Importance.  How important is the outcome or the nature of the waiting time?  Depending on where it ranks in my importance scale, my ability to wait is inversely proportionate.  For example, if I perceive something to be important I am naturally more anxious and impatient to know the outcome, hence I don’t want to wait but to know the outcome immediately.  If it’s a trivial matter, it really does not bother me if I had to wait and in fact I might even forget about it.
2. Expectations.  Setting the right expectations on time frame to wait as well having the appropriate expectations of the outcome, makes the waiting time bearable.  If I know that I had to wait for 3 days before knowing whether my home loan is approved or not,  then I am able to wait knowing that there is time frame.  Waiting indefinitely is clearly unsettling but in life there are moments that certainly are like that.  So the question is how can we handle a prolong waiting time?
3. Personality.  A lot of how we react or respond depends on our personality.  For Type A person like me, waiting patiently and productively requires a lot of effort on my part to change my responses.  I have over the years learned to manage better through the waiting period by focusing on other  areas instead of being fixated on the wait or all the things that are wrong.

I would like to suggest that to wait well, ask yourself :

1. What is the significance of this waiting time to you?
2. What could you do while waiting?
3. What other areas could you focus on?
4. What experiences or lessons could you learn about yourself during this time of waiting?

What do you do to wait well?

I have been reading a number of articles  around the minimalist lifestyle and that got me thinking :  Can I fit my essentials into a suitcase?  What are the minimal number of things that I need to live on?  Maybe I should add to live comfortably on 🙂  That will clearly mean that I need more than one suitcase which will clearly defeat the purpose of the exercise.

So I decided to put this concept to the test and this was what I discovered:

1. Wardrobe:  I only really wear less than 20% of my entire wardrobe on a regular basis.
2. Gadgets:  I use all of them regularly which led to me think that I don’t have enough 🙂
3. “Stuff” :  I need 50% of the other stuff that I have and the wine collection is not part of this exercise.

My conclusion is that the only “excess” that I have are in my wardrobe.  I am faced with 2 simple decisions:  Don’t buy any new items or Give them away and at some point buy new ones.  I think that you can guess which path I will be taking.

This then lead me to a more critical point and a serious question:  What do I really need?  Need vs. Want.  Knowing full well that nothing that I have, I can take with me when I die.  So what is it that I need.  What is that I want to accumulate?  The answer lies in experiences, memories and relationships.   What we use the resources (time, money and creativity) that we have is to :

1. Build Relationships:  Family and friends and even “strangers” before they become friends.  Money only buys the coffee or meals but the fun, laughter and comrade spirit , that’s something that money can’t buy, only time spend allows that to takes place.
2. Learn:  Knowledge whether through books, studies or experiences.  Never stop learning.  Always dare to try.  Be curious and test things out.  Maximize the learning opportunities that you have.  You never know what might interest you until you try it.  As an example, I would never have thought that I would enjoy golf until I tried  it.  Now I enjoy it.
3. Decide to Enjoy the experience of this life.  Decide to enjoy your life.  It is a decision that each of us make how we want to accept the challenges and excitements that this life journey offers.   Decide to be grateful.  Decide to be appreciative.  Decide to be of service to the needs of others.  It is a choice that each makes on how we view the quality index of our life.  Decide to make this life count.

What do you think are your needs vs. wants?  Have you tried making a list?  What does it look like?  What changes would you make today?